Ain't Nothing But Mammals
by Smapdi
Summary: Danny has... a girlfriend? Mindy finds out and insists on a double date. Nothing could go wrong...
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note - this will be a short multi chapter bit of Dandy, a little more angsty than my other stories but all's well that ends well, right? Wanted to get one more in before the show returns and gives us all new inspiration...**

"Girlfriend?"

Mindy was dumbfounded. Though her past few weeks had been a whirlwind of excitement, with the holidays and a new romance of her own, she had no idea that there was someone new in Danny's life as well.

Danny shrugged and flipped through a file, trying to look busy. "I guess you could call her that. We're not, like, engaged or anything.

Mindy snorted. "Duh. But you haven't mentioned anyone... Danny, is she real? You talk about web dating. Have you met her, like, in person?"

"I just told you we went to that damn restaurant last week. Did you think I brought my phone and texted dinner to her?"

Danny was a little irritated by the question. He had met Denise in person, at the newsstand of all places, not by browsing online. They had struck up a conversation about the demise of the print industry and things just clicked. She was cute and funny, didn't sleep with him right away, but when she did, they clicked there too. He liked her, he had fun with her, and she took his mind off of work and... other things. But he hadn't meant to talk about her to Mindy.

Stupid Peter had spotted them together at that trendy restaurant and of course he had to bring it up, in the office, in front of everyone.

"Hey Danny, who was that hot little pixie you were with in Saturday? That teppan wasn't the only thing smoking at Nishi's!"

Of course, that started the barrage of questions, though surprisingly, Mindy didn't say anything till he had escaped to his office. Then she casually strolled in asking about a patient before starting to grill him.

"Ok, so tell me about her? Where is she from? What does she do?"

Danny really, really didn't want to do this. He doled out a few answers, knowing it would never be enough. Mindy was unrelenting.

"She sounds great, Danny. I can't believe we haven't met her yet! You've been going out almost as long as Cliff and I have! Of course everyone already knew him from wiener night. OMG Danny, has she seen the pictures?"

Danny needed to end this line of questioning. "She doesn't need to see the pictures, Mindy." The implication was clear, and Mindy wasn't sure why the idea of this random woman seeing Danny in the flesh, so to speak, should bother her.

But it did.

"OK, Danny, whatever. But we need to meet this young lady! Let's do dinner, this weekend!"

"Mindy, if I have any shot of a relationship with this woman, I am not going to drag her to some crazy thing with the whole office."

"Fine, Danny. I only meant us. Cliff and I. A double date! What could go wrong?"

Danny thought for a moment. What couldn't go wrong? He had done this with Mindy before and needless to say they were no longer with those respective partners. It was a horrible idea.

"Fine. You make the plans, since I know that's what you want to do. I'll make sure Denise is free first though."

Mindy went full speed ahead and made the plans anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

They arranged to meet up at an Italian place Mindy had read about in one of those "best kept secrets" articles, the ones that always ruined the secret. She had given Danny a copy of the menu the day before.

"Italian food, Danny, you can't complain about that!" That was the only thing he couldn't complain about - the menu was limited, the prices outrageous, and the neighborhood sketchy.

"Geez, Mindy, we don't have to worry about getting mugged after we eat here. We'll be broke already." Danny grumbled.

"Now Danny, you don't want your new... friend... to think you're a cheapskate. I got you that menu information so you wouldn't cause a scene when we got there!"

"Great. Thanks."

He had been dreading this event, though everyone else seemed enthused. Denise seemed excited to meet his "work friends." He hadn't exactly spelled out the situation as a double date. She had arrived at his condo dressed sensibly, a simple navy dress and low heels. Classy. She was tall and slim, with dimples and close cropped auburn hair.

He was expecting to arrive at the restaurant before Mindy, but had not expected her to make such an entrance. Dragging Cliff by the hand, she almost ran up to him and introduced herself to Denise with a big hug. She nearly knocked Denise over and Danny had to grab Mindy to keep her from Toppling over in her very high heels.

"Hey, watch it, handsy." Mindy mock scolded him. As they were seated, she took off her coat to reveal what was possibly the loudest dress Danny had ever seen her wear, and that took some doing. It had green and fuchsia sequins and just one long sleeve, leaving most of her chest and one shoulder bare. Danny noticed she had goosebumps from the sudden chill and had to look away.

"What the hell, Mindy, did Lady Gaga have a garage sale?"

"My people love color, Danny. Don't be racist." Mindy preened.

"I'm just gonna go blind from the glare here." Danny gestured in Mindy's direction.

Denise laid her hand on Danny's arm. "Now Danny, it's lovely. You just don't know fashion." She chided him gently. Danny rubbed his neck and muttered "Nope."

Mindy frowned for a second before recovering her big grin. She didn't need this woman in the plain dress to defend her fabulous Barney's markdown bargain. And she certainly didn't need her insulting Danny!

The group was seated and made casual small talk as they perused the menu. The waiter came and gave them wine recommendations, with an emphasis on a pricey Cabernet that Denise also gave raves about, and left them to decide.

"Ugh. Sorry but I' m just over red wine. Pink, I can do!" Mindy exclaimed. The other three exchanged glances, and Denise helpfully explained the wines that suited each course. Danny pointed out she had been drinking red wine at his home, to which she replied stubbornly.

"It was all you had, Danny! Sorry, I'm not drinking gross bitter wine just because it goes with the food. But get what you want. I'm fine with water."

"Acting like a brat..." Danny muttered in a singsong voice under his breath. Mindy just wrinkled her nose at him and kicked him under the table.

When the waiter returned, Cliff ordered the bottle of Cabernet and Mindy tried not to pout.

"And a glass of the house rośe, please." Danny added, earning him a smirk from the waiter and a grin from Mindy. They ordered meals and resumed chatting.

"I love that hairstyle, Denise!" Mindy said with a side glance at Danny. "I cut my hair short when I went on a mission to Haiti. I loved it, but Danny hated it. He said I'd never get a boyfriend!" Mindy slid her arm into Cliff's and smiled at him adoringly.

"I didn't say that!" Danny sputtered.

"Oh that's right," Mindy grinned back. "What you said was men don't go for that style." She glanced back at Denise who just smiled in response. "You know, his ex had short hair too..." Danny coughed loudly and shot Mindy a glare.

"Do you hate my hair, Danny?" Denise asked.

"No, it's great! You have a... a good head for it!" Danny awkwardly patted the side of her head, then pulled his hand away and glared at Mindy again.

"I guess my head is, like, misshapen then." Mindy said with false sadness.

"Your head is fine, hon." Cliff said uncomfortably.

"Gee, thanks. Anyway, Denise, I guess Danny was right because I grew it out and now I have a man."

"That's wonderful for you. I had long hair for years. I haven't really noticed a difference with the, uh, man-getting." Denise smiled sweetly at Mindy, who was getting a little annoyed at just how damn nice this girl was acting. And it had to be acting. Nobody that good looking was actually a nice person.

The food arrived and the conversation dwindled as they dug in. Mindy eyed Danny's plate - the seafood pasta had been one of her choices but she had decided on a tortellini dish instead. "That looks so good Danny. I kinda wish I had gotten that instead." She poked at her food with her fork.

"Yeah it's really good. Here, try some." He speared a shrimp and some noodles and reached across the table with it. Mindy eagerly tried the sample, catching Danny's eye for just a second, and he grinned and nodded. "It's good."

"Yeah it is. Danny, put some on my plate." Mindy thrust her dish towards him, and he scraped a helping for her. Neither of them noticed the expressions on the faces of their dates.

"Mine's good too, Mindy." Cliff offered her a bite but she declined. "You know I'm not doing red meat right now." Cliff just shrugged.

The rest of the meal was uneventful. Danny and Cliff threw some sports talk around, and Denise tried to engage Mindy, but she kept missing Mindy's pop culture references. Somehow Danny was the one explaining them, which resulted in chortles of laughter from Mindy as she corrected him. But as the evening waned, Mindy really wanted to go home. For some reason, she had envisioned Denise to be yet another dull schlub of a girl that she could tease Danny about, not this smart, attractive interesting woman. She was pretty much perfect for Danny, and Mindy hated her.

"I'm going to run to the powder room." Mindy excused herself as the night came to an end. She was relived to find it was a fairly roomy lounge with big mirrors and she tossed some cold water on her face before touching up her makeup. How could she not be enjoying this night out, she asked herself. Denise walked in and washed her hands in the next sink. She turned to Mindy with a half smile.

"So, Mindy. Have a moment for a little girl talk?"

Mindy looked around the room. "Sure, this is a great place to relax and chat, Denise. It doesn't smell like poop at all."

Denise laughed an entirely fake sounding laugh. "Nice. This really won't take long." She faced the shorter woman and crossed her arms. "So. You and Danny. What's the story?"

"Story? There's no story." Mindy replied warily.

"OK. So you and he have never...?"

"What? We've never anything. What are you talking about?"

"I like Danny, but... I'm just trying to decide how invested I want to get. You and he have either happened, or are about to, and if it's the latter... I need to get out now."

"Denise, you... I... you don't know what you're talking about." Mindy stammered.

"Oh, come on Mindy. The fighting is almost flirting and the flirting... It's almost fucking. Just tell me one thing, Mindy. How long have you two been in love with each other?"

Mindy started to cough. "We aren't... in love? You've got to be kidding me. Danny doesn't love me!"

"Damn it. I knew it was too good to be true. A single, gorgeous doctor, in NYC, who doesn't wear women's panties or have any other weird fetishes... " Denise grabbed a paper towel and balled it up in frustration, chucking it at the trash.

"Well I think he might have one or two..." Mindy stopped herself - she was not helping her case.

"Thank you, Mindy. I'm really glad you invited us tonight. And good luck figuring this thing out." Denise walked out, leaving Mindy rattled. She waited a moment before exiting the ladies room and went to find Cliff.

"Oh, hey, Danny said bye. Denise just hustled him out of here... guess she wants Italian for dessert too. Hey, are you OK?" Cliff finally noticed Mindy was somewhat freaked out.

"Yeah... No. Let's get out of here."

Cliff hailed a cab and they started off towards Mindy's apartment. She started to explain about the confrontation. Cliff just watched her face as she reenacted the discussion animatedly.

"She just caught me totally off guard, Cliff. I mean, where does she get this crazy idea about Danny and me? Being in love? It's insane. She's insane. Oh my God, Danny. What is she going to tell Danny?"

Cliff just chuckled.

"Oh I'm glad you find this amusing, Cliff. It was horrible!"

"No, not at all, actually. I'm just laughing at myself for being such an idiot." Cliff let out a big sigh.

"What? Cliff?" Mindy looked at him and saw the disappointment written on his face. "Oh please... don't tell me you are buying into this crap!" Mindy clutched at Cliff's arm.

"How could she figure it out in one one meeting and I've been too stupid to see it all this time? That's what kills me." Cliff shook his head.

"Cliff, stop it. This is stupid. Danny is not in love with me!" She tightened her grip on his arm as she pleaded.

Cliff gently pulled his arm free and turned towards Mindy. "I don't give a shit about how Danny feels." He paused and took Mindy's hands in his.

"Just tell me the truth, straight out. Tell me that you don't have feelings for him and I'll forget this whole conversation." He gazed into Mindy's eyes and waited.

She looked away.

"Cliff, don't be ridiculous..." Mindy stammered, and Cliff released her hands and turned to stare out the window.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note - Thanks for the reviews! Love the feedback. I don't know about you all but I'm dying for the show to come back so I hurried to finish this up... Cuz there is going to be a lot more inspiration in the weeks to come! Hope you enjoy this. **

Mindy fell into her normal post breakup routine, but this time, it was all by rote. Homely pajamas, check. Blanket and pillow on couch, check. Bowl of ice cream and Kleenex, check check. No wine this time, but even if she had any in the house, her stomach was too tied up in knots to drink.

She cried a little, but not over Cliff. Her tears were full of frustration, disappointment, and a little bit of loneliness. Something else, too... She couldn't place where the sadness was coming from. She just knew there was a sense of unease, of emptiness, and it wasn't because her cute boyfriend broke it off. She knew he wasn't the "one," whatever that even meant, but she never expected it to last.

She felt like something major had cracked inside her, and it didn't make any sense. She could have just told Cliff what he wanted to hear, and everything would be fine. But she couldn't say the words, say that she had no feelings for Danny, even if she was mixed up about what those feelings were. She was afraid, too, scared and worried about what would happen to her friendship if all this came to light.

So she sniffled and flipped channels, landing on some nature show featuring wild cats and some kind of deer. It was not her usual fare but it was there. And she would have kept crying and eating ice cream and being introspective, watching lions mate, if not for the banging on the door.

Her heart leapt, because she thought for it was Cliff coming to apologize, and even if he wasn't Mr. Right, he would distract her and she wouldn't have to be alone with her damned thoughts. She sprang up, trying to fix her hair and hoped she looked quirky cute like Zooey Deschanel, and looked out the peephole.

It wasn't Cliff.

It was Danny. Angry Danny. Glaring directly into the peephole Danny.

Mindy's heart was suddenly pounding. Almost in response, Danny banged on the door again. She felt frantic. Obviously, this was fallout from the dinner, but what could have made Danny so mad at her? She fumbled with the door latches. "Hang on!" She squeaked.

Finally she flung open the door. "What's going on? What's wrong?" She asked, trying to quell the waves of panic and nausea.

Danny just stood there, fury and pain in his eyes, jaw clenched and hands in tight fists. He tore his eyes away from Mindy and pushed past her into the apartment. Mindy closed the door and turned to find Danny had spun around and was now inches away. She shrank back against the door.

"What did you tell her, Mindy? What did you say?" He spat out the words in a clipped tone, his breath hot on her face.

"What are you talking about, Danny?"

Mindy had never seen him this worked up. She had made him angry plenty of times before but this was the worst - and she hadn't even done anything.

"You can't be satisfied ruining your own fucking relationships, can you? You had to go and ruin mine, too!" His voice was like a deep growl. Mindy felt the sting of tears in her eyes and closed them tightly. "Ouch." She whispered.

He turned on his heel and walked away, findings Mindy's overstuffed chair and collapsing in it, face in his hands. It was like he deflated, all the anger dissipating.

Mindy stepped hesitantly towards him, still very confused. "Danny?"

He looked up at her, dropping his hands in his lap. "Denise broke up with me. She wouldn't tell me why. She just kept telling me to talk to you." His voice was no longer furious, just broken.

"Oh God, Danny. I don't know what she's talking about. I didn't tell her to break up with you! I swear I didn't!" Mindy was horrified. She couldn't tell him about the confrontation with Denise - it had already ruined her relationship with Cliff, and it looked like she was about to lose Danny too.

Danny hung his head and shook it slowly. "I don't know what happened. It was going great. She's smart and funny and pretty... and she liked me." He put an odd emphasis on the last word. "At least... I thought she did." He looked up and his eyes were so sad that Mindy felt her heart break. Her own eyes were brimming with tears.

"She made me a little happy, Min." His voice cracked on her name. "What... Why?"

Mindy grabbed his clasped hands in her own. "Danny, Danny, I did not mean to break you up. I would never say or do anything to hurt you like that. I want you to be happy." She felt a tear slip down her cheek. "Please believe me. Please."

Danny just looked at her. He pulled his hands free and leaned back in the chair, grasping the arms and staring up at the ceiling. Mindy felt the panic come back.

"Oh come on, Danny. If you'll notice I'm not having so great a night either." Mindy gestured at the carnage around her.

Danny glanced around, taking in the melted mint chip, the Kleenex and magazines tossed around. He looked at Mindy, actually seeing her for the first time, with no makeup and ratty pjs.

"Cliff?" He questioned softly.

"Yep, I ruined my own fucking relationship, just like you said." Mindy's tone was bitter.

"I'm sorry." He didn't sound sorry. "What happened?"

"You don't want to know."

"Min."

Mindy met his eyes. They were still hurting, but there was something else... He was putting some puzzle pieces together. She swallowed hard.

"What the hell aren't you telling me?" Danny's voice was softer but the question very pointed. She wasn't going to escape this unscathed.

"Danny, really it's not..." Danny reached out and grabbed Mindy's wrist, pulling her slightly closer.

"Something happened, Mindy, and both of us were broken up with tonight because of it. I'm the only one who doesn't know what that thing is, and I goddamned deserve to know. Was it Denise and Cliff? Did they... did something go on between them? And when the hell could it have, anyway?" Danny was grasping for an answer that made sense.

Mindy closed her eyes. She couldn't tell Danny and yet, she couldn't not tell him. He was right, he did deserve to know, as crazy as it was. She just couldn't look at him.

"No, geez, no." she laughed hollowly. "Not them, Danny. Us."

Danny made a kind of strangled noise in his throat. "Us?" He managed to croak. "Us... us?" He weakly gestured back and forth from himself to Mindy.

"It's stupid, Danny. It's crazy."

Danny waited but Mindy wasn't saying anything. He tightened his grip on her wrist just a little.

"Okay..."

Mindy took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Danny was watching her intensely and she wanted to squirm, run, hide somewhere he couldn't find her and make her say it out loud. She knew he would laugh and mock and somehow that terrified her, hearing Danny scoff at the idea that they were in love. That she was in love with him... Oh God. Oh dear God. She was in love with him.

Suddenly air refused to pass through her lungs and she felt like she was about to faint. This is insane, she thought, I'm not... I can't be... but... I am. And suddenly that realization gave her strength.

"Denise... She thought we were a couple. She asked me how long we have been... in love." She just said it simply and swiftly and then, it was out there. The crushing weight on her chest was lifted.

Danny's face paled. "Wha... what?" He stammered, releasing Mindy's wrist. She pulled it back and rubbed the spot where Danny had gripped it, glad to have something else to look at besides his face.

"Yeah, I know." She forced a light tone and continued. "I told her that was crazy, Danny. That you... You don't love me." Her voice cracked. "And I told Cliff the story and he..." She couldn't go on.

"Wh...why would Cliff care what Denise thinks?" Danny asked her quietly.

"I don't know, Danny." Mindy felt the panic rising again. "I guess he thinks... he thinks... that I'm in love with you."

There was a terrible heavy silence in the room and Mindy felt like screaming SAY SOMETHING but yet, what would he say that wasn't going to make it worse?

She slowly raised her eyes to meet Danny's. His expression was unreadable.

"I said it was crazy..."

"Mindy." His voice... It was deep and gravelly and she couldn't focus. Could he hear her heart pounding, she wondered. Blood was rushing in her ears.

"Just answer me, Min."

"What?" Had he asked her a question? She hadn't heard.

"Seriously?" Danny had an incredulous look on his face. "You're gonna make me ask you again?" Mindy just nodded, confused. Danny reached out for her hands, grasping them gently, leaning forward.

"Are you?" Danny hesitated. "In love... with me?"

Mindy felt a rush of adrenaline. She had not expected that question, or the hopefulness in his eyes. She exhaled slowly, set her jaw and answered.

"Yeah." And then she burst into tears.

Danny released her hands, which she then buried her face in, heaving big sobs. Danny moved to the couch and folded his arms around her, pulling her against his chest, as the sobs wracked her body. Finally she was cried out. He held her head, laying his lips against her temple, murmuring her name.

"Mindy, Mindy, Mindy..."

"I'm so sorry Danny. I didn't mean for this to happen."

He softly kissed her temple. "Mindy, please don't apologize."

He moved down to lay a kiss on her cheekbone. "I am.." Down her cheek between words. "Crazy..." Another kiss on her jawline. "In love..." Finally he reached her lips, just brushing them before speaking. "With you."

Mindy's breath was hitched. She pulled back slightly, wiping at her nose and eyes.

"Danny, I'm all snotty and I think you're gonna kiss me."

Danny gently pulled her hands away. "You're right. And I don't care."

And kiss her he did.

Epilogue

Mindy arched her back and stretched, then curled back in her warm cozy bed. Beside her, lightly snoring, lay the man it turns out she really was in love with after all. She felt lightheaded. Suddenly a giggle escaped her lips, waking Danny.

"Hey."

"Hey." Mindy snuggled up against his warm skin.

"You know, this evening had an entirely different ending than I anticipated. Your double dates always end terribly." Danny murmured into her hair. This made Mindy giggle again. "I didn't expect this to happen when I came over..."

"Yeah, you did."

Danny laughed, pulling her closer against him. "I did not! I wanted it... for a long time. But I didn't know."

"Yeah, you did..." teased Mindy.

"OK..." Danny found her mouth again and she laughed against his lips.

"Mindy?"

"Yeah, Danny?"

"I'm really glad you invited us to dinner tonight."

"Me too, Danny."


End file.
